I've got this old electric food warmer, like a hot plate, but the whole acrylic surface heats up, no red coils or nothing. It measures 2' x 1-1/2'. I've used it a lot to...heat things up. For this exercise, I set it on the floor and plug it in. The thermostat switch is broken, so it only goes on "High". It takes a while to heat up, but when it does, it gets VERY hot.

Above the plate, I've suspended a metal chin-up bar from chains in the ceiling. Just high enough so you can reach it with fully-extended arms. Stripped down to your gym shorts, you are forced to step up to the plate, and stand on it, barefoot. You are forced to reach up and grab the bar, in the underhand position. Taking a roll of duct tape, your clenched fists are tightly taped to the bar, around and around your knuckles and thumbs, so you can't let go, even if you tried.

I take two one-foot lengths of 1" x 3" wood, place them on the outside of each leg, right at the knee, and duct-tape them in place around each leg, just above and below your knees. They act like splints, making it impossible to bend your knees. Finally, your ankles are lashed tightly together with rope. They are also roped down to four eyehooks which are screwed into the floor, in front, behind, to the left and right of the hot plate. There is enough slack to raise your feet six inches off the plate, no more. Your big toes are tightly lashed together with a piece of rawhide, so you can't use one foot to protect the other.

Get the idea yet, buddy?

I sit back and watch until the plate heats up to where you can't take the heat on your bare feet. Your two options finally dawn on you:

You can either stand there and burn those bare feet, or you can use the bar to chin yourself up, but only to about a 1/4 chin-up, before you reach the end of your ankle tethers and can't go up any higher.

You eventually opt for the chin-up, to cool off your feet, and you hold yourself in that tense position for as long as you can. How long is that, tough guy? One minute? Two minutes? Five minutes? I enjoy the sight of your muscles flexed and tensed, holding yourself up in that difficult 1/4 chin-up position. As your muscles start shaking from the effort, you realize that you will have to relax and stand back down on the plate, in order to give your muscles some relief. But how long can you stand on that hot plate, buddy? Five seconds? Ten seconds? Your bare soles feel like they are burning, but that plate is just REAL hot. It won't cause any permanent damage. Unless you stand on it for too long.

For several long minutes, I watch the show. You strain and grunt to hold your chin-up until your muscles are exhausted and shaking and you can't hold it anymore, then you relax your arms and drop down to stand on that plate until you can't take the heat.

Up and down, up and down, over and over.

I love watching you do your daily chin-ups, man.

We'll have to make this a regular part of your exercise routine.

Is that you I hear grunting, buddy?

And is that sweat starting to drip off your straining body?

Good.

Means you're working real hard.

I approach you to try to take your mind off your predicament.

So, just how TICKLISH are you, tough guy?

When you are holding yourself up off the plate, I can easily reach down and tickle those hot, bare soles of yours. With those ropes tethering your ankles in place, you can't move your feet much. And with those big toes tied together, you can't protect your soles at all from my scrambling fingers. Those hot, bare feet of yours are prime tickle targets, and are feeling even more sensitive and ticklish than usual from the heat, aren't they, buddy. Why is that, when your feet are warm, they feel even more ticklish? Do you think I will take advantage of your tough predicament?

In short order, you are hanging there in your 1/4 chin-up position, arm muscles straining to keep your feet off that hot plate, and you are squirming like mad from the unbearable tickling of your soles. Even your toes are ticklish, as I discover when I produce a stiff feather and begin to lightly trace patterns across, in between and underneath those hot, sweaty toes of yours. If only the big ones weren't tied together so tightly, you might be able to wiggle your toes away from that damned feather. But you are out of luck there, buddy. Every time you chin yourself up to cool off those feet of yours, they are gonna get tickled by my fingers or my feather. Yup even before you feel the cooling relief of lifting them from the hot plate, you feel the tickle attack. You are gasping, laughing, twisting around, helplessly caught between a rock and a hard place. And the strain on your strength and endurance is beginning to show. You find that you can't hold that 1/4 chin-up position for nearly as long now, before your muscles give out and you have to lower yourself back down to that hot plate. You try to squirm and swing yourself and your feet away from the plate, but with your ankles tied off and pegged down in four different directions, you can get no slack. You try to bend your knees while hanging from the bar, but those splints taped to your legs are doing their job of keeping your knees and legs rigidly straight. No cheating now, dude. You want to feel the full effect of your workout, don't ya? No pain, no gain.

Which is worse, buddy? The nearly-unbearable heat, or the totally unbearable tickling? And how long can you hold yourself up off that plate while your feet are being tickled? A minute? Thirty seconds? Ten seconds? C'mon, stud, you can do better than that! I thought you were bragging about how strong you are, how many chin-ups you can do, and how great your endurance is. Looks like I got a real wimp on my hands here. You are gonna need a lot of training to toughen you up, dude. Think of me as your Coach.

The uncontrollable laughter which eventually erupts from you is what really does you in. You cannot hold yourself up there while you're laughing, but when you relax, the heat on your soles makes in nearly impossible NOT to try to chin yourself back up, except for brief periods of time.

Don't worry, dude. If those feet of your get too hot, I've got just the solution. Going to the freezer, I retrieve two metal ice cube trays. I bring them in, and as you chin yourself up, I press the bottoms of the cold metal trays up against your hot soles. You jump and yell from the sudden change in temperature. Too much? Sorry, buddy. Here, let me remove just two cubes from a tray and gently, slowly start stroking them across your tender soles and toes. Geez, dude, why are you yelling and trying to thrash around? Doesn't that ice feel good against your hot soles? What do you mean, it tickles? How can ice cubes tickle you? You must be crazy. C'mon, dude, keep yourself in that 1/4 chin-up position so I can finish cooling off your hot feet.

But wait, you lost it, buddy, and you relaxed your arms, now you are standing on that hot plate again! Why the yelling, buddy? Oh, it's because after the ice, the heat feels even more intense, huh? Too bad, buddy. You should have held yourself up longer. And that's not sizzling I hear, is it? Naw, it couldn't be. That plate doesn't get THAT hot, does it? The sizzling must just be from the melting ice cubes hitting the hot plate. You want more ice? Well, just chin yourself back up and I'll get two fresh cubes, buddy.

What? No more ice? Is that begging I hear, buddy? From such a tough jock as you? Naw, couldn't be. Well, O.K. No more ice for now. Back to the tickling.

Man, your upper body is really looking sweaty. Every muscle seems to be flexed and bulging. When you are in your 1/4 chin-up, trying like hell to hold it, your armpits, ribs and abs are a very prime tickle-target. Do you think getting your armpits tickled while trying to hold that 1/4 chin-up position would...distract you at all, buddy? I hope not. Let's see.

I reach into those moist, sweaty pits and begin to tickle them frantically with light, rapid movements of my fingertips. You scream with surprised laughter, surprised at how ticklish those sweaty pits feel, and you immediately lose it and drop to the hot plate. Ten seconds later, you can't stand the heat and you are straining to chin yourself back up. Man, your arms are really shaking now, buddy. Guess I have no choice but to tickle those pits some more...

Good thing I got two whole trays of ice cubes here, buddy. We may even need more.

When is your workout over? When YOU say it is, buddy. All you gotta do is yell out that you are a wimp and can't take it anymore, beg me real pretty and humbly, and you're out of it. And all you've lost are your bragging rights and your pride, buddy.

Good luck, sport. With your weakening endurance, this can't last more than another half an hour. Or an hour, tops.

More ice?