Doc's Checkup



"Hi Doc..."

Dr. Miller walked into the hospital room. He was a portly fellow, about 5'7" and a good 260 lbs., balding, with a fairly bushy salt-and-pepper beard and green eyes that always had a mischievous twinkle.

"Hello Biff... how is your leg this morning?"

Biff was one of your typical high school jocks, the type you'd see on the football team. He wasn't the most friendly person, to be sure... there were those he'd picked on many a time for being "uncool". As proof that he was cool enough to judge others in relation to himself, he had gotten himself involved in a motorcycle accident that resulted in the spraining of his left ankle. Just to be on the "safe side", Dr. Miller had ordered that Biff's leg be put in a partial cast, in case it was broken.

"My leg's doing pretty good, doc. Think I'll be able to get it out of traction?"

The doctor noted Biff's left leg was still hoisted up off the bed in a sling.

"Not for a little while yet, Biff. We have to run a couple tests first."

The doctor spoke, closing and discreetly locking the door behind him. "First of all, the nurse set your leg sling up a little too low. Let me adjust it..." The doctor pulled the sling strap, elevating Biff's leg to a precarious angle.

"Careful, doc! Isn't that a little too high?"

"No, it's just right. Okay, Biff, I'll have to run a couple tests..." said Dr. Miller, as he walked closer to Biff's leg, pulling out a ball-point pen. "The first test is to see your nervous reflex. Tell me, does this tickle?" The doctor ran the tip of the pen gently up Biff's foot from heel to toe, making him nearly jump out of bed.

"HELL yeah!" yelled Biff.

"I see. Well, you distracted me with that. I'll have to repeat it." The doc dragged the pen up his sole again.

"Yeow! Watch it, doc, that really tickles!"

"Hmm. Let's try that again to make sure, shall we?" The doctor repeated it again, a little slower this time. Biff let out a giggle.

"Hey, quit it, doc!"

"We'll have to run a couple more tests. If you hold on a second..." said Dr. Miller as he bent over the corner of the bed. He quickly reached under the cover and secured Biff's other leg with the bed restraints.

"What the FUCK are you doin'! NURSE!!!"

"Biff, I gave the nurse explicit instructions that we be left alone during this examination. It will go a lot easier if you lie back and relax. I will try to make this as pleasant as possible... for me..." said the doctor with a wink as he firmly grabbed Biff's foot with one hand, and began scratching the sole with the other.


"Koochie kochie koo! You know, Biff, this is one of the perks of this job. Laughter is the best medicine, and I'm filling a prescription!" laughed Dr. Miller, as he put his fingers between Biff's toes and wiggled them. Biff was nearly hysterical. First the fingers were between the toes, then on the instep, the heel, the ball of the foot. And Biff learned the devistatingly effective methods known by doctors of Dr. Miller's caliber.

Biff wasn't admitted out of the hospital for another 3 days.

Oddly enough, he kept returning for checkups every week for the next 3 months. If I remember correctly, he might have even gotten a crack in at the doctor once in return.

...but that's another story.